Spam and Phishing Emails Just Make Me Laugh

So I get a spam / phishing email this morning and it makes me think; If I was a really creative writer and could come up with an email scheme this elaborate, why not just continue writing and make this into a fictional story and sell it? Seriously, the email is pretty entertaining, it just leaves the reader hanging cuz you don’t know how it ends.

Anyway, please don’t fall for something this ridiculous. Most people I know are savvy enough to know when an email is fake, but these things must work on some people, or the spammers would give up. Don’t you think?

Here’s the email for your amusement:


I AM SPECIAL AGENT JOHN EDWARD FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT, WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND IMPOUNDED TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS.

FURTHERMORE, WE HAVE SCANNED THE SAID BOXES, AND FOUND IT TO CONTAIN LARGE SUM OF MONEY AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOXES, INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOXES INTO THE UNITED STATES HAS IT THAT HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS PAYMENT WHICH WAS DUE TO YOU FROM FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA THROUGH SECURITY COMPANY IN UNITED KINGDOM.

MEANWHILE, WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS IN THE BOXES, AND WE ARE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOXES ARE LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENT WHICH AS A RESULT, THE BOXES HAS BEEN CONFISCATED.

ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 2005 AMENDED CONSTITUTION IN TAX PAYMENT, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM THE JOINT TEAM OF THE IRS AND HOMELAND SECURITY, AND THEREFORE, YOU MUST CONTACT US FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE SO THAT YOU CAN BE RELIEVED OF THE CHARGES OF EVADING TAX WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE UNDER SECTION 12 SUBSECTION 441 OF TAXATION LAW ON TAX EVASION.

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THIS BUREAU WITHIN 72HOURS, OR YOU WILL BE PROSECUTED IN THE COURT OF LAW FOR MONEY LAUNDERING.

ALSO, YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO DESIST FROM FURTHER CONTACT WITH ANY BANK(S) OR PERSON(S) IN NIGERIA OR UNITED KINGDOM OR ANY PART OF THE WORLD REGARDING THIS PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN IMPOUNDED BY THIS BUREAU HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

YOURS IN SERVICE,
AGENT JOHN EDWARD
REGIONAL DEPUTY-DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTELLIGENCE FIELD UNIT
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,NW WASHINGTON,D.C.
20535-0001,USA.

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